Welcome to Falsely Accused Dad! If this is your first time here, I'm very glad you found me. I'm a husband and father and I have a story to tell. A story that I hope will change your life and make you aware of just how quickly and easily your life can be turned upside down.

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Counseling Assessment

February 8, 2010

A few days after the initial meeting with my probation officer, I arrived at a small brick building in downtown for my counseling assessment.  Frankly, I had no idea what to expect.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to get a real child sex offender assessment or whether it was just going to be an interview. I walked in and providing them with my name and was asked to wait.  I waited for about 10 minutes and small framed women walked out and asked me to come into her office.

I was asked to sit across from her and she sat behind her desk.  She didn’t say anything at first and just browsed through a file that was open on her desk in front of her.  After a few minutes she looked up and asked if I knew why I was here?  I responded yes and told her it was a condition of my probation to attend anger management classes.  She nodded, and then asked me to tell her my story from start to finish.  She wanted to her about that initial night of the accusation and about what had occurred since.  As she finished talking, I was suddenly struck by how cold this women was.  She showed no emotion, provided no small talk, and frankly seemed to say the minimum amount of words necessary.  She did not seem friendly in the least bit.

I told her my story and she listened intently, often asking me to pause while she wrote down what I was saying.  She explained to me that it was necessary for her to write down almost to the word what I was describing.  She paused a few times as well to ask questions about the story, and seemed surprised more than once with my answers.  When I finally finished almost an hour later she looked at me and said “That’s some story.  Is is true?”  I responded “Absolutely” and she nodded.  She said this was the first time in her few years of doing this that she had her a story with as many “issues and questions” as mine had.  I noticed as we talked a bit that one of the folders on her desk was a copy of my case file, including the child’s medical report.  So she knew the story already.

She then reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a form and asked me to read and sign-in.  The form was a “Sex Offender treatment permission form”.  In surprise I handed it back to her immediately and said that is not what I am here for.  She replied that it was just a standard form and since I was here to take anger management training as part of her larger sex offender training program, I would be required to sign it.  I explained that I was not trying to be difficult, but that I was not going to sign a form that had “sex offender” on it in any way shape or form and that by doing so, I would be admitting myself as a sex offender, which I am not.

We discussed it for a few minutes, and I basically told her politely but firmly that this wasn’t going to work, and I would need to meet with my probation officer again to discuss this further and possibly even my attorney.  She sighed, and turned on her computer and asked me to give her few minutes.  She finished typing and a document came out of her printer.  She handed it to me and said “Hopefully this will meet your needs.”  At the top it said “Anger management consent form”.  I read through it, signed it, and thanked her.  She proceeded to get up and explained to me that the first class was next Tuesday night and she expected me to be there.  She said classes start at 7:30pm, if I was more than 5 minutes late, the door would be locked and I would not be allowed in and considered absent.  She also informed me that each class cost $35, payable in cash.  What? She then said that not paying or not showing up to class is considered a probation violation and that she would inform my probation officer.  Nice.

So now, in addition to the “victim” compensation, and the monthly probably fee, I now have to pay a $35 per class counseling fee.  Neither the probation fee or counseling fee was mentioned to me when I agreed to the plea.  I mean, I wasn’t going to go hungry over it or anything, but each time something like this came up, it made me realize that my whole case was really about money.

I left, thinking the assessment had been far easier than I thought it was going to be.  I basically just told my story, answered a few questions and was done.  As I drove away thoughts about the class began the wander in my mind.  I was really nervous about the class and the people who would be in it.  Would their stories be like mine or would they admit to their crimes?  In a few days, I would find out.

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I sat waiting in the probation area for about 15 minutes and finally heard a door open right in front of me.  Looking up I saw a middle aged lady standing there asking me to come on back.  She looked friendly enough.  We walked through a short hallway and into a small office where I sat down.  She introduced herself, and leafed through a file that I noticed had my name and case number on it.  After a few minutes she stated she would read through it in more detail later, but wanted to overview the probation process for me.  She also asked that before we jumped in that I give her an overview of my case, which I did from start to finish.

When I was done, she just stared at me for a minute and said “Wow”.  She had a very shocked look on her face, but hesitated saying anything.  She only replied that given the charges and interest the DA had in my case, she was surprised I got a misdemeanor charge and 18-months probation.  I responded by saying they didn’t have much of a case, but wouldn’t drop it.  She just shook her head and opened up my file.

Probation Terms

The first item she reviewed was the terms of my probation.  She walked through each of the items on the “special terms” I had agreed to as part of my plea bargain.  We spent the most time discussing three of them.

Financial Terms

This is where I got my first little surprise.  She informed me that I would be required to make monthly payments.  Those payments would consist of the amount I owed “the victim” spread out over the 18-month probation term.  Additionally, I would have to pay $35/month probation.  The “victim” money I expected, the probation fee I didn’t.  Nobody had told me prior to this meeting that I would need to pay a probation fee.  While not a huge amount of money, $35 dollars over 18-months added up to be $630.00.  Given the 20k plus I had just dished out to my attorney, plus the “victim money” and now this…the financial strain was definitely kicking in.

She filled out a financial terms form and had me sign it.  Frankly, I didn’t have any choice.  Not signing it would result in me being in violation of my probation terms meaning I would go to jail.  So I signed it and expressed my concerns about not being aware of the fee.  Her only reply was “sorry about that”.  She then explained to me that if I got more than a couple of months behind on my payments, she would be forced to send me jail.  I found this interesting.  So if I can’t make the payment for some reason, I go to jail, resulting in me not working and thus further not being able to pay the bill.  I wondered how that worked for people.

After signing and reviewing the financial terms, she told me how to make payments and that I was expected to make my first one today.  Only cash was expected.  What?  I explained to her that I didn’t have the cash on me, but would come over later in the afternoon or tomorrow and make it.  She agreed, but made it very clear that payment needed to be made.

Additional Terms for being around children

The next surprise occurred when we reached the item in my plea agreement where I wasn’t supposed to be around children other than my own without adult supervision.  As she explained it to me, in order for an adult to be considered for “adult supervision”, that adult had to meet with and be approved by my probation officer.  No big deal right?  Well, let’s think that through…Can I go to other people’s homes that have children without my probation officer meeting them?  Could I go to the mall?  How about when other kids come over in our driveway or yard to play with my kids?

I asked her about all of this and her answer was wherever reasonable she needs to approve the adult that will be with me.  So this basically allowed me to go to public places like malls, stores, etc where there were lot of adults.  But for visiting friends, going to church, kids playing around our house, etc my wife had to be there and my wife had to meet my probation officer first.  I asked her a little further about this since that wasn’t what the agreement actually said.  Her response was that as the probation officer, she had the right to enforce the rules as she felt they needed to be enforced.  I later learned this was not true and that probation officers can only enforce the rules as they are written in the judgement, no more, no less.

Counseling/Anger Management

Now for the big curve ball.  She gave me the name and address of the organization I would be working with for the anger management counseling.  However, she informed me that she had already spoken with them.  The organization didn’t offer specific anger management counseling, but instead they would place me in the sex offender counseling sessions.  Turns out they just happened to be getting ready to start the anger management portion of their curriculum.  The slimey DA had worked this out in advance.  This was the DAs way of getting me into sex offender treatment by tricking me.  The only good news was that I only had to attend for 6-weeks.

I of course challenged this and was told that was the only option, and that if I didn’t cooperate it would be considered a probation violation and I would go to jail (seeing a pattern here?).  I later contacted my attorney who said there was really nothing he could do and that technically what they were doing met the terms of the agreement.  Lied to and screwed again!  Folks, remember the law is NOT on your side.

My probation officer then called and made an appointment for me to have an assessment done before my counseling started.  Another surprise.  Since I was going into the sex offender counseling session, I had to have a formal assessment done.  Something I had completely refused to do while I was waiting on this to be resolved.  Not knowing what I was really getting myself into, I thought I would at least go over and meet with them.  The appointment was for a few days later.  If I became uncomfortable or felt the “assessment” was hurting me more than helping, I would just leave.

My probation officer then informed me that her and I would be meeting at least monthly and initially each wee.  She made our appointment for the following week.  She told me that if she needed to meet with me sooner, that she would call me.  She also reminded me that she would be stopping by every so often unannounced and would also be doing searches of the property without a warrant.  If I failed to allow these, I would be arrested immediately.  She also went through in gory detail any “sexual materials” that would be considered in violation of my probation.  This included sex toys, pornography (written or visual), and pornographic movies.  My computer would also be checked and no pornography or history of viewing pornographic sites was allowed.  If they found any guess what?  Yep, go to jail.  This was not a problem for me, I don’t have pornography and don’t view it.

I left her office to head to the bank to get some cash to pay for the initial probation payment.  The whole time thinking that didn’t go at all as I expected.  Even after agreeing to the plea, I was still being screwed.  I wondered what additional surprises awaited me over the next 18 months and especially during my assessment appointment in the next few days.  I was also very nervous about sitting in counseling sessions with real convicted sex offenders.  I thought to myself, only 18 more months to go.  I’d been through so much, I could surely endure this too.

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Accepting the plea in court

December 23, 2009

The court day had been looming for days.  My attorney and the DA managed to get time with the judge during a private court session so nobody else would be in the room, not even the press.  I hadn’t slept much the night before stressing over the day ahead.  We arrived early as requested by [...]

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A new look

December 21, 2009

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Taking the plea

December 21, 2009

After days of agonizing, in late July of 2008, I signed a plea agreement drafted by my attorney and the DA.  I received a 60 day suspended sentence with supervised probation for 18 months.  18 months was the minimum amount for the state I live in.  In addition to the standard probationary terms, the following [...]

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The plea bargain

October 5, 2009

Between September of 2007, when DSS finally allowed me to come home and July of 2008, nothing happened with my legal case.  Two very high profile murder cases came up and completely dominated the DA and and assistant DAs time.  Unless I was willing to plead guilty to my full charges, they didn’t even want [...]

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Finally allowed to come home

October 4, 2009

A few weeks after our face-to-face meeting with DSS in September of 2007, we received a call from our DSS worker.  She has something to tell us, but wanted to tell us in person.  She asked for both of us to be there.  After all that we had been through, we expected the worst.  What [...]

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Opps! My hosting company made a mistake

May 24, 2009

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Face to face with DSS

May 6, 2009

In late August of 2007 my attorney along with the assistant attorney managed to get DSS to agree to a face to face meeting between all of us.  The purpose of the meeting was to discuss the case, our situation, and to determine now to proceed foward.  We were very surprised that DSS agreed.
The Meeting
We [...]

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A lot of waiting and a little progress.

May 6, 2009

After our DSS appeal was denied, we began 3 months of no progress on either our DSS case or the legal case against me.  There was literally no progress on either for the whole summer.  DSS was stalling waiting on a resolution to the our legal case and my legal case was being held out [...]

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