With my mandatory 8 weeks of “anger management” counseling complete all I had to do to get most of this behind me was complete my probation, which was still a long way out. Probation wasn’t too bad. I had to meet with my probation officer once a month and pay my monthly fee of $170. The one thing I didn’t like much is that the probation officer would just show up out of the blue. We could be in the middle of dinner and she would just show up and walk in. This was irritating, but tolerable, especially given everything else we had been through.
The big problem though wasn’t the probation, it was where we lived. I seldom went out of house without having neighbors glare at me. Most of our friends barely talked to us anymore and we often saw our neighbors bunched up together looking at us and talking. I felt like every eye was on us all the time. Some neighbors were bold enough to even say things to us. I could deal with it, what I couldn’t deal with was the impact it was having on our kids.
As surprising as this sounds, children and teachers at our kid’s schools knew about what happened. Their parents and in some cases teachers had told the kids in the school about it. As a result, my kids were getting harassed about it. My oldest had actually gotten in a few fights because other kids called me names or asked my kids if they “liked little kids” because of their Dad. How’s that for wrong?? I did nothing, yet my kids get verbally and physically harassed at school. My kids even lost friends because their parents said they didn’t want their kids hanging around mind. Geez and I wasn’t even guilty.
We decided to move
After a few weeks of this and given we really had no true friends we could trust in our neighborhood anyway, we decided it would be in the best interest of our family to move. I was fortunate enough to have the ability to work from home full-time if I wanted, and I took advantage of that.
I spoke to my probation officer and she confirmed that I could move my probation and that I just let her know when and where.
We fixed some issues with our house, freshly painted everything and put it up for sale. We started looking for homes in the area we wanted to live. Unfortunately our home didn’t sell, so we ended up renting it. We did find a really great home in the new town though and due to the declining real estate market, we got it for a steal.
Our new home
Now of course as things go with these types of cases, nothing could go perfectly smooth. I called my probation officer and gave her the date to transfer my probation. The date was the day we would be moving into our new home. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but a few days before our scheduled move date, our real-estate agent called. He said he had gone out to our new house to make sure everything was ready and all of the work by the previous owners was completed. He said on the phone: “I’m not really sure how to say this, so I’ll just say it: There was note on the door from the Department of Probation stating they had come by and that I should contact them immediately.” Great! So much for trying to keep anyone from finding out!
I immediately called the probation officer and explained to him that we hadn’t moved yet and that he was more than welcome to come anytime after our move date. I also asked him why he came early and explained that the note was found by my real estate agent. He didn’t care. Fortunately I’m pretty confident our agent is the kind that wouldn’t talk, or at least I hoped he wouldn’t. To this day, I am not aware of anyone outside of him even suspecting anything with me.
Light at the end of the tunnel
We love our new home. While I certainly wouldn’t have wished this whole situation on my worst enemy, there was some good coming out of it:
- My family was now closer together than we had ever been
- Our faith had grown significantly stronger. We are attending church more, reading our Bibles more and praying together as a family.
- We now live in a beautiful home in a really great small town. Had all of this not occurred, would have never moved here.
- Shortly after moving, we also found a church home that is the most wonderful church we’ve ever attended. We feel loved and like part of a bigger family.
If you’ve been falsely accused and suffering the same type of persecution myself and my family were going through, I would strongly advise moving. Looking back, moving really changed our lives and has let us move on. The move gave all of us a new start and the ability to put things behind us as much as we can.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
FA Dad,
Glad you made it out the other side, with a stronger family, and faith. This is an heart wrenching story, I believe I finally understand the concept. “never talk to the Police”
There will never be justice under this sun, only under The Son when he comes in glory.
Your story filled me with a gut wrenching rage. I have to believe that some if not many of your official accusers knew that the allegations were false but chose to pursue them anyway.
This stuff really kicked on in the 80’s in the McMartin pre-school case where a whole family was falsely imprisoned because of allegations from their day care center.
I hope things work out for you.
Hi Mike, thanks for your comment. I’m not sure if they confidently knew, but I am confident they certainly wondered and I know the DA thought some things were a little “off”. She told my lawyer that. I was the only case under her that ever got reduced to a misdemeanor charge.
I don’t know the whole story but i am the “LITTLE” victims family, and if the story started when she was two then its hard to believe she just made it up about one of her parents that a child instictively loves. To deny what you know in your little cold heart makes you low. Not only that but making YOUR believers support lies is eventually going to catch up with you. In opinion, the websites ARE STUPID PUBLICITY STUNTS. Why put your cases and experiences out in the open? I was raped and molested but you don’t see a website for me. just take the consquences for your actions.
very opinionated – I’m a little confused about your comment. Are you referring to my story? If so, she was 4 and she didn’t accuse her parents, she accused me…and she’s not my daughter.
Publicity stunt? How’s that? I’m anonymous and all of the names in my story are made-up names, certainly not a publicity stunt as it can’t get me any publicity.
Why put our cases and experiences out in the open? To educate the public about how our court systems really work and to help protect people’s lives from being ruined by being falsely accused.
I am sorry beyond words that you were raped and molested. I cannot imagine anything more horrible. If you have a story to tell that you think people might benefit from, I’d strongly suggest you start a site.
Take the consequences for my actions? What might those actions be exactly?
Finally, I recommend you read the full story before judging. You sound like an angry bitter person that has no interest in hearing the truth. I feel for you.
I was not referring to your story it wasn’t directly to you i don’t know how this site works, and my little cousins father is somewhere on this page and i’m sorry i didn’t direct it correctly.
@very opinionated – No problem and I in turn apologize for the confusion. This is basically a blog, so your comment shows up under whatever article you are currently reading. Generally the comments for each article are pertinent to the article your reading, but it’s no biggy.
I’m sure you’re in a very tough place, especially given your past history. I hope and pray the truth comes out for all involved.