11/14/2006 - The arraignment
Filed Under (My Story) by dad on 14-09-2008
My first day in court was on Tuesday, 11/14/06. I arrived at the county court house early as I had only been one time before to testify against a teenager that vandalized our home. I wasn’t exactly sure how long it would take me, especially since I was driving from my Dad’s house more than 40 minutes away. I certainly didn’t want to be late. As I walked upstairs, the first thing I noticed was how hot it was. The waiting area was surrounded on one side by large glass windows with no coverings. The sun was beating through the glass causing the heat. I wondered if that was done intentionally just to make us all miserable. I next noticed that the waiting area was full of a mixture of all kinds of different looking people waiting. Some Caucasian, some black, some Hispanic, and some…well I wasn’t exactly sure. Some were rather criminal looking, others resembled the gangsters I had seen on TV. Others seemed poor based on their clothes and physical appearance while a few others seemed rather wealthy. A few others seemed much like me, just average Joes, lost, confused and looking overwhelmed by even having to be there. What struck me as odd though was that the majority of people seemed comfortable and even familiar with the building and the unwritten process. I looked to them to know what to do and where to go.
In the courtroom
The main courtroom doors opened a few minutes later. The experienced looking folks got up and began to walk into the courtroom. I followed, not yet having found my attorney. A rather large (and manly) looking female officer informed us all in a very stern and loud voice to find a seat, remove our hats if we were wearing one and to turn off our cell phones. We then told that if she heard a cell phone once the judge walked in, it would be confiscated and not returned. “Can they do that?”, I wondered. Not wanting to lose my phone, I turned it off.
My attorney appeared a few minutes later, walking into the court room through door at the front. He stopped and starred out at us all, looking for someone. His eyes settled on me and he motioned for me to go with him back out to the waiting room.
He told me he would answer for me and that since I had not fully decided to use him as my permanent attorney or not (his estimated charges for the case exceeded $20,000 not including potential expert witnesses, private investigators and other miscellaneous expenses) that he would ask for a continuance in order to give me time to make a final decision. He said this wouldn’t take long and that he would motion towards me when I was done and could leave. We returned back to the courtroom, which at this point was almost full.
Shortly thereafter, the manly looking female guard announced loudly that court was now in session and that Judge so-and-so was presiding. We all stood until the Judge sat down and were given the motion to be seated.
The cases were addressed in alphabetical order. The first pass through was just to determine what was being done to the case. When they arrived at my name, I stood and my attorney explained our situation and asked for a continuance. This was granted and I was given another court date 2 weeks out. My attorney nodded that I could now leave. I quickly left and was never so glad in my life to be done, at least with that particular visit. I didn’t know it then, but would be making frequent visits to the courthouse over the next 3 years. I headed to the bookstore to kill some time. I had nothing else to do.
My children’s examinations
As part of our agreement with Child Protective Services (CPS), my wife and I had agreed to allow our children to be examined by the local Child Advocacy Center. We were told by CPS that once this was completed, as long as no evidence of abuse was found on my own children that I would be allowed to return home.
Our children were examined over the course of a few days, both psychologically and physically. My children were given a clean bill of health and had no signs of abuse.
I forgot to mention that my mother had come down from Virginia and was staying at home with our children, since I wasn’t allowed to see them and my wife was in the hospital with our son. She was a blessing, and I am forever thankful for her being there. It met more to me than anything she had ever done for me.
Medical assistance and short-term disability
Through some encouragement from my father, I sought medical assistance with both my nerves and my lack of sleep. I wasn’t able to sleep at all, and the effects of not sleeping and the overwhelming emotions and anxiety where really taking a toll on me. I saw my doctor later that afternoon, and was prescribed Paxil and Ambien.
A good friend at work that was aware of the situation suggested that I apply for short-term disability. My doctor was in full agreement based on my emotional situation, and wrote up the necessary paperwork. If I could get short term disability, I would at least get paid (I was placed on unpaid leave once I was arrested). We were about out of money. We had little to no savings and our credit cards were all maxed out due to our recent adoption and prior bad spending habits. If I didn’t find some income soon, we were going to start falling behind on our mortgage and other bills. I called the insurance company, and filled out the necessary paperwork and faxed it in. All the while praying to God for a miracle that it would be approved and that He would provide.
Visiting my son
My wife also called CPS that evening and begged them to allow me to spend a few minutes with my son in the hospital. After some deliberation, they agreed as long as someone from the hospital was in the room with me. I was able to stay for about ½ hour that night while the doctor was in the room. The hospital was short staffed and couldn’t afford to have someone in the room with me, so I had to leave once the doctor was done. That ½ hour was the most precious time I’ve ever spent with him and I truely felt God’s hand beginning to work in our life. I needed that positive “win” more than anything at that time, and as I held his tiny hand and hugged his horribly skinny little body (due to the insulin in his body eating away at his fat), I sobbed.
I felt as if my whole world were coming down around me. I tried to be strong for him and my wife, but my strength failed. I could not believe this was happening to us. We felt betrayed by our friends, by the Police who we always trusted to protect us, and by our government who was supposed to keep this kind of thing from happening. I also felt betrayed by my company who literally turned their back on me after all the years I had worked so hard for them. It was unbelievable to me that the words of a little girl could so quickly take away the life I had worked so hard to achieve. My son, he just hugged me and told me it would be ok. I never realized how strong he was until that night. His incredible strength continues to amaze me today.
I left the hospital and drove back to my father’s house, all the while wishing I could hold my other children the same way.
Next we begin looking for a new attorney and receive an update from DSS.
Photo by: Padraic
