I will never forgot the day I was arrested for child molestation.  I had seen people arrested many times before, but to be arrested yourself…well, that’s a totally different experience.   Being arrested for child molestation is frightening, humiliating, and degrading.  Fortunately, I was allowed to turn myself in, but more often than not the Police love to arrest you at work.  They love to humiliate you.  I was still hand-cuffed, put in a police car, and forced to change into prison clothing until my bail was made.  I was treated like a criminal and did nothing.  I was innocent.

Perhaps you’ve been arrested for child molestation or think you might be, what do you do?  Regardless of whether you molested a child or not, the things that you need to do right now are the same.

DO NOT TALK TO THE POLICE

There is a very good reason the police have to read you the follow “You have the right the remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law”.  Just like it says, they will use anything you say, most likely against you.  The only information you should provide is your name, your address, the name of a family member, and your employer.  This information is often needed for bail.  If you are asked any other questions, say “I want to speak to a lawyer”.  No matter what they say, only ask for lawyer.

The police are allowed to lie and will lie to get you to say things, confess, make you trust them, etc.  They will make you promises of “helping” if you help them.  Don’t believe it, their job is the arrest you, not help you.  Am I the only one that finds it ironic, that the agency that is supposed to be there to protect us and serve as role models for our children intentionally lie?

Call a criminal defense attorney as soon as possible

In many cases, like mine, you might be questioned or investigated prior to being arrested.  I was asked to come to the station and talk  to them.  Stupidly, I agreed.  Since I didn’t do the crime they accused me of once I got there, I believed it would be alright to tell them my version of the story.  I believed they would believe me.  Wrong.  They twisted my words around to make it look like I confessed when I didn’t.  The written statement submitted to the DA re-arranged and even changed what I said, so that it looked like I admitted to possibly “touching [her] by accident”.  Their statement did not accurately convey what I had said.  But who will people believe, an accused child molester or the Police?  They’re real good at lying and tricking you by the way.  Remember, they’ve had lots of training and experience.  A few weeks after my “interview”, I was arrested and charged with child molestation (indecent liberties with a minor), a felony.

The most important thing you can do before or after being arrested for child molestation is to have an attorney present.  An attorney will keep the police from trampling all over your rights.  As soon a as you find out you’ve been accused of child molestation, retain an attorney.  Do not talk to anyone, including the police until you do.  If you’ve been arrested, do not talk to the police without your attorney present.  Who should you call using your one phone call?  Your attorney.

Finding an attorney, especially one with experience in child molestation cases can be tough.  Due to the stigma, many attorneys don’t want to handle child molestation cases.  But stay the course, and you will find a few attorneys that will.

If you’re arrested and haven’t had time to find an attorney that specializes in child molestation cases, just get a criminal attorney to help you through the arrest process.  You can always switch attorney’s later, and most likely the attorney you’re working with now can refer you to someone that handles child molestation cases.

Stay Calm

Staying calm when arrested of child molestation is critical.  First and foremost, it may protect you from additional charges or from being physically harmed.  Don’t ever resist being arrested, even if you are innocent.  Resisting arrest is illegal, and may put the officers in a position where they feel endangered…not a good situation.  So just remain as calm as you can.  There is a process you have to go through, and willingly or not, you will go through the process.

Staying calm will also help you not only think through the situation so you can respond and act appropriately, it may also allow you to notice details that may be important to your case.   Stay calm and pay attention.  As soon as you can, write everything down that happened, including detail about the officers, how they acted, where you were taken, treated, etc.  This information will be critical for your attorney.

Do not consent to a search

If the police want to search your car, house or anything else do not consent to a search.  With that said, depending on where you are arrested, the location may give the police cause to search your car or house, but not always.  Just state that you “do not consent to a search.”  If they search anyway, do not resist.  Let your attorney and a judge determine if the search was illegal.  Most likely, if you’re being arrested of child molestation, the police will have a search warrant for you home and will confiscate your computer, pictures, and video that you have.  You have the right to see it.  They’ll be looking for child pornography as patterns show true offenders often have child pornography at their homes and on their computers.  They took 3 of our computers for 2 years…they found nothing.

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If you’ve been arrested for child molestation, remember: stay calm, keep your mouth shut, and contact an attorney as soon as you.  Did I mention to not talk to the Police??  DO NOT TALK TO THE POLICE!

In America, we are raised and taught to trust in our legal system.  We assume that we will not be accused of doing something that we didn’t actually do(falsely accused), and that if that were to happen, that we’re protected by a legal system that works in our favor to protect us from being convicted.

Innocent until proven guilty right?  Nothing could be further from the truth.

People in America are falsely accused far more frequently that we want to think.   Subsequently a large number of people are convicted or plea out to charges they didn’t commit.  Proof of this is found with the now prominent use of DNA evidence.  Through the use of DNA, many people waiting on death row, convicted of murdering people, were found to be innocent.

If you are falsely accused it can be shocking.  This is particularly true if your are falsely accused of child molestation or other child sex crime.  In today’s society these false accusations are considered by most to be equal or worse than murder.  If falsely accused of child molestation, you may not know what to do, how to respond, who to speak with and who not to.    If you’ve been falsely accused either directly or by a supposed victim via the police of any child related sex crime, especially if you’re falsely accused of child molestation here is what you need to do immediately:

Recognize the seriousness of a child molestation charge

First, let me be absolutely clear that if you have been falsely accused of child molestation, indecent liberties with a child or frankly any other related child sex accusation, you are being accused of one of the most serious and life impacting crimes in the country.  If convicted, you could be facing 25 years or more in prison, lifetime registration as a sex offender, mandatory counseling for years, and loss your right to be around any children including your own.  There are very few charges that are more serious and receive such a negative and hostile reaction from the public.

From someone who knows first hand, you will lose friends, people will turn their backs on you.  People that trusted you before will talk behind your back, tell lies, and even hang signs up in your neighborhood about you. Do not make the mistake of thinking the accusation isn’t serious or that it will “go away” or even worse that you can handle it yourself.  Making these simple mistakes can literally cost you your life as you now know it.   Failing to understand the importance of your situation now could have serious consequences down the road.

Get an attorney that specialized in child molestation cases immediately

The very first thing you need to do is find an attorney.  Finding one can  be challenging, but one of the the best ways is to ask around.  If you don’t know anyone that can recommend a good criminal attorney, just find one for now.  You can always switch later, but you need someone to represent and guide you immediately.  Look for an attorney that has experience in child sex related cases and one that is local to your area.  Local attorneys are far more effective than “big city” attorneys.  In many cases it’s more about politics than law.

Do not speak to the police or DSS about the child molestation accusation

If you are being questioned by the police, you do not have to say anything.  Do not let them tell you otherwise.  The most common reaction the falsely accused have is to trust the police and try to open with them since you didn’t actually do anything.  Big mistake.  The worst thing you can do is think they are on your side.  They are not.  The police can and will twist your words, trick you into saying things you did’t intend and write up interview notes that are completely incorrect.  Remember, they are trained to interview and are very good at it.  If you are not under arrest, you can leave and I strongly advise you do so.  Don’t even make the mistake of allowing them to question you.  Do not even let them in your home unless they have a warrant.

If you are arrested, you still do not have to say anything beyond providing your name, address, and birthday.  That’s it.  Saying anything else won’t help, but in all likelihood will just hinder your case.

Do not agree to a polygraph test either.  Always consult an attorney before agreeing to a polygraph.  Most attorneys will not allow you to take one and for very good reasons.

All of this holds true for DSS (Department of Social Services) or CPS (Child Protective Services).  This is often one aspect of a child sex accusation that people don’t realize will occur, DSS/CPS will get involved.  They will investigate you, potentially remove you from your home and work to force you to take counseling and “remediation” to solve your problem.  Working with them can seriously jeopardize your legal case.  They cannot enter your home without a warrant unless you give them permission.  Don’t give them permission.  Consult your attorney before speaking to DSS.

Document everything about the false molestation accusation

From the moment you are accused document everything.  Start a journal that documents everything that happens from the accusations to the events leading the accusation.  Note dates, times, other people that were around, etc. etc.  The more detail you can provide the better.  Keep this journal current and updated through your entire case.  Not sure if something is relevant or not, write it down anyway.

On the very first page of your journal (on the front cover if you are using a notebook), write: ATTORNEY/CLIENT PRIVILEGE.  If you don’t do this, all of your notes can be confiscated during a police search and used against you.  Writing Attorney/client privilege protects you.

Your documentation and the details contained within could be critically valuable to your attorney and later your case.  My case notes were critically important and are also being used to write my story here on Falsely Accused Dad.

Even better is to purchase a voice recorder and record all conversations.  Consult your attorney though as different states have different laws about recording conversations.

Begin locating funds

Defending yourself is going to be expensive.  Depending on the charges and case, you can expect to spend anywhere from a few thousand dollars, up to $50,000 thousand and even more.   My case cost us more than $25,000 by the time it was all said and done.

An important step you can take is to begin locating funds.  Remember, your life is potentially on the line so use whatever funds you can get.  Sell things, refinance your home, pull from your retirement, borrow from family and friends.  Do whatever it takes to defend yourself and find a good attorney.  Child sex charges have a very high rate of conviction, and you will need everything you can to defend yourself.  This can include private detectives, expert witnesses (paid by the hour), and special psychological tests.  Cases like these can get expensive quick.

That’s one of the reasons so many accused people take plea bargains, they just can’t afford to defend themselves.  Remember, the accuser, police and District Attorney have state funds, but you are on your own unless you utilize a public defender.  While there are good public defenders, they should only be used if you have no other option.

Educate yourself about child molestation

As with everything in life, the more you understand something the better off you will be.  While your attorney will be a valuable resource in assisting and educating you, I strongly advise that you educate yourself as much as possible.  Read about past cases, understand the statutes regarding your accusation or charges.   There are literally thousands of website and books available that can serve as valuable resources for you.

Books I would recommend include:

• Jeopardy in the Courtroom: A Scientific Analysis of Children’s Testimony
• Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused
• Expert Witnesses in Child Abuse Cases: What Can and Should Be Said in Court

Reminder: Most important of all of these, KEEP YOU MOUTH CLOSED!   Anything you say will in fact be used against you, what you do not consider a “confession” police or social workers are likely to.   NEVER EVER EXPLAIN anything you have ever done.  They are experts at twisting your words around and making you say things you don’t intend.

If you demand an attorney, and you cannot afford one, the police cannot continue to question you.   On June 26, 2000 the United States Supreme Court reaffirmed ALL the provisions of the Miranda decision. Police cannot continue to question you when you have asked for a lawyer to be present. If they persist they risk contaminating a case. REMAIN SILENT! REMAIN SILENT! REMAIN SILENT!