As I attended each weekly counseling session, I grew less and less angry about being there. To be honest, it was a little strange, at some level I enjoyed attending. I enjoyed talking with some of the offenders and to my disbelief was learning a few things. I wasn’t learning about how to manage my anger, but learning how to avoid putting myself in dangerous situations with children where I could be falsely accused again. I was also learning about the real truth behind sex offenders through the stories of the members. It was also about this time I started this site and began sharing my story with you.
Each week as we met, we all shared a little more about our stories and situations. I thought it would be interesting to share a few of them with you, as I think it will enlighten you into who some of our “registered sex offenders” really are.
Spike
I’ll start with the guy I previously mentioned was gay. Since he has spiked hair, we’ll call him Spike. Spike was a school teacher. He was an openly gay male, living with his boyfriend and had been doing so for a few years. Spike was a very well respected teacher who received great compliments from parents and was well liked by his students. He had wanted to be a teacher all of his life and loved working with kids and teaching them. Spike was in his late twenties at the time.
One evening, while sitting at home grading papers, there was a knock on the door. Spike answered the door and was greeted by a few police offers. They stated they had a search warrant. He was shocked. He of course allowed them in and read the warrant. Based on what he could tell, an undercover officer had received requests for child pornography from a person using a computer located in his home. Him and his boyfriend only had one computer. After reading the warrant as the other police searched the house and took the computer, he was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography. He was informed that his boyfriend was already at the station.
I won’t go into all of the details, but the computer did in fact contain child pornography. Spike said it wasn’t his, and that he was a lot of things, but not a pedophile. His boyfriend would not admit it was his, and thus they were both charged with possession and distribution of child pornography. Based on recommendations from their counsel, both plead guilty in order to receive reduced jail time. Spike spent 6-months in jail, had to register as a sex offender, was on long term probation and had to complete a full sex offender counseling program.
Did he play a part in it? Only he and God really know, but it sure does make you think huh? Do you really know what your room-mate, boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse has on their computer? Don’t think it can impact you? What they have on their computer, since it’s in your house can make you a sex offender.
Richie
Next up is the young guy I thought was wealthy. Since I thought he was rich, I’ll refer to him as Richie. Seems Richie was hanging out with some friends in the city one night and met up with this really nice looking girl. Together with a bunch of friends they went out bar hopping and the two of them ended up back at her parents place where she lived. They had sex a few times then passed out drunk together in her bed. He was awoken the next morning by the girls father who was extremely upset, especially since neither of them were dressed. Richie left, grateful to not have been killed by the father.
A few days later, Richie was arrested at work and charged with rape of a minor. Turns out, the girl he thought was “of age”, was 15. He was 18. The father had called the police and the next thing you know, he was in jail. Again Richie plead guilty in order to receive a reduced jail sentence. Frankly, he didn’t have much of a case, as he was 18, she was 15 and she never lied to him, he just assumed based on her looks and based on who she was hanging out with that she was old enough. He was convicted of felony rape of a minor. He received a year in jail, had to register as a sex offender, 3 years of supervised probation, and mandatory sex offender counseling.
Richie’s story is one I’ve reminded by teenage boys about a few times. Don’t ever ever assume a girl’s age. Doing so could ruin your life.
Fred
The guy I described as “rather unkept”, we’ll call Fred. Fred’s situation is similar to Richie’s story. He was 16 and at a friend’s house. His friend’s sister, a few years younger had a slumber party the night before, so there were lots of girls still at the house. One in particular he thought was cute, but knew she was too young, as he assumed she was the same age as his friend’s sister. She started flirting with him and told him she was 16 as well and was older than the other girls. Unfortunately, he believed her.
They managed to go upstairs and engaged in oral sex in his friend’s bedroom. The girls mother arrived a little early to pick her up, and found them in the upstairs room. After surviving the mother, he left and went on about his life for the next few days even laughing with his friends about it. While at work 4 days later, he was arrested and charged with indecent liberties with a minor and attempted rape of a minor. He was shocked to learn the girl was 14.
He plead guilty as well in exchange for a reduced sentence. He got 6-months in jail, registered as a sex offender, supervised probation, and mandatory counseling. Stupid? Yes, but I can see how a teenage boy could very easily get himself in a similar situation.
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Three different people, caught up in situations that completely changed their lives. Guilty? Yes, with the exception of maybe Spike, but all three cases really enter that gray area of the sex offender and child sex laws. Both Fred and Richie received sentences equivalent of a 35 year old man that molests and rapes a 7 year old girl.
We all tend to think that molesters are 30 year old rapists who force themselves on women, or even worse perverted 35 year old men who molest or rape a young pre-teen girl. While I am sure many of them are, many of them are people like Spike, Richie and Fred.
I’ll share the stories of the others in my next post, their cases aren’t so gray…in fact, they’re crystal clear.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
this is horrible. my son is going through this right now. his step-daughter lied about being raped by my son. she lied twice and each time she later admitted to lying to get back at him or her mother for not being able to have her way. the girl apologized for her actions. the first examination proved she was not raped,and that nothing had happened to her. The doctor and the Cps worker both realized the girl was lying and when they approached her she finally had to admit she made up the story to get even. The second time she pulled the stunt after being angry about not being able to listen to heavy metal music and wearing gothic clothing at 13, she thought if she could get her step father out of the house then she would be able to do whatever she wanted like before her mother was married. the mother left the girl and her siblings home alone, this kid was molesting her little brother but her mother would not admit to it after the younger sister told on her older sister. the mother claimed she was raped by this girls father and would tell the girl how she is a product of rape and was not concieved out of love. This child is sick and needs help. She was not raped, molested or treated in any ill manner by my son.
After the daughter apologized the last time she stopped pulling these stunts, all was going well until.
my son and his wife decided to part only because after all they had put him through he could not keep a job, but he could only part if he would agree to continue bringing all the kids to school, come over and help with homework, keep all the kids with him over the weekend while the mother sleeps from working all week, attend her childrens pta meeting, report card conferences and contnue to bring them all out to the movies and parks. my son could only leave if he continue to live there from a distance. Also he had to pay the bills with or without a job, how i don’t know but this was at the demand of his sick wife. Well, my son tried to keep things civil between them and was doing his best to meet the wife demands all for peace, but he had to move from a family members home because no one trusted the kids, they lied, they stole, they caused trouble everywhere they went, so my son slept in his vehicle outside a friends home and finally the friend let him in to stay. The kids and the wife was calling me out of town looking for my son, when the wife found him she gave him hell, she knew the lady was a family friend but she did not know that he was staying there with the lady and her family but once she found this out she took her daughter to the police station and made her say everything she had previously said was a lie was actually the truth. my son was arrested for the first time in his life. lied to by the police. out on bond, thousands of dollars to do this plus property. this has been going on for the past three years. the wife rides around in his car, have her family and friends driving it while he was walking and busing to court and the bondsman. my son and i don’t live in the same state. i gave him my car while i bummed a ride from others until God bless me with a car that i did not have to pay a dime for. my son is going up against a jury in april, something we have never had to do in our lives, the mother of the girl is doing the talking not the girl, the girl told another girl that she is sorry for this but her mother won’t let her say anything other than that the stepfather raped her. The DA has admitted to not having any evidence but only her word is enough to bring this man to trial and possibly convict him of something he did not do.
Society need to stop this, kids do tell lies for many reasons. Women wants revenge on many levels and would use anyone and anything. A scored woman is a terrible thing to a man. The DA office and CpS don’t give a damn about a man being innocent they just need to show cases and take it for granted that men who are accused are guilty. There is a true saying about Texas ‘ you go on vacation and stay on probation’. The girl mother needs help, the daughter needs help. my son needs his freedom. i don’t trust jurors because they generally don’t need evidence they judge on their own personal belief that men are dogs and kids don’t lie. Everyone please pray for my family. call us the 419 family, and pray that if a trial takes place that the jury would see the truth and free my son of this foolishness.
Sheila,
I will pray for you and your son and hope all goes well. I too am facing the same foolishness. I’ve mentioned it several times on this forum. The accusation on me was “He tried to touch my underwear.” I’m 37, been raising kids since the age of 18 and raising my 3 children with my wife and have been raising my stepdaughter since she was 7. This accusation came from my wife’s other 9 year old daughter that we haven’t seen much of in the 7 years we’ve been married. Her father has custody and we made the decision to keep her for part of the summer last year despite the fact that she is a very troubled child and being raised by a vindictive, worthless dirtbag. BIG MISTAKE!!!
The system is set up to destroy families and ruin lives all in the name of saving children. The investigators have lied, ignored evidence and refused to interview my wife and have even gone as far as terrorized my stepdaughter in order to get her to say I did something to her. When they couldn’t get her to lie these interviews were suddenly not in any police report. I’m looking at having my career ruined and facing 10 years in prison but I will refuse to “plea”.
My trial date is set for May. Please let us know how things go for your son. I will be praying for you.
Dan,
When they approach you with a plea bargain think of the following, be open and honest with your attorney. If it comes to a point when you are receiving an offer from them, have your attorney deal with them. Try to get a deferred sentence at any cost or negotiate a voluntary counselling period to determine your sexual history. Have your attorney request that you enter a treatment center, group therapy, where they can formalize your personality from treatment. Stick to the rules at all costs. Once the voluntary treatment is completed, and they determine that you are not a risk, your case will be reviewed. Again, if this doesn’t work, try to secure a deferred sentence. If this doesn’t work, then only a misdemeanor without having to register as a sex offender. Do your time with probation and a treatment center. Believe in yourself and the family. Always be open and honest.