I again took another personal day from work, as myself and my family were an emotional wreck. I also called my manager to make her aware of what was going on and requested that she talk with our HR department some to see what the impact to my job as a result of all of this could be. She returned my call later in the day and informed me that if I was arrested, I would be put on unpaid leave, and allowed benefits for 4 months and if not resolved of the charges, my employment would be terminated. Years of hard work and success potentially ended by the accusation of one little girl.
At 11:00am just a few days after the interview, there was a knock on the door. Two ladies from CPS (Child Protective Services) showed up at our house. They informed us that they had visited our children’s schools earlier that morning and interviewed them. They wanted to meet with my wife and I and ask us some questions. I was shocked. I had no clue that people could just show up and interview your children without your permission. This is America right? I told them I needed to call my attorney first. He advised me to only answer questions about our child care, our house, etc. but not to discuss details of the case.
Their first question was about Saturday night, and I informed them I was advised by my attorney to not discuss the case. They said that was fine. They walked around our house and asked us questions about our parenting, verified we had food, and made sure the kids had places to sleep and that our home had sufficient square footage to support our children.
Then, as they were reviewing some papers with me, they informed me that I needed to leave my home. Even worse, I couldn’t have any further contact with my children until they were interviewed and had physicals at the Child Advocacy Center at our local hospital. I was shocked, stunned, and upset beyond anything I thought possible. I literally felt as if my whole life was being torn away from me and I had done nothing.
My wife and I signed the CPS “safety plan” agreeing to these terms per advice from my attorney. In hindsight, I’m not convinced this was the best decision. I should have refused to sign the agreement and made them get a court order. I’m not convinced that cooperating with them was of any advantage to me. Little did I know at the time that it would be 10 months before I could come home without any restrictions.
I quickly packed and left. I went straight to our pastor both to get some spiritual support and guidance and to see if the church would assist my wife and children. He met with me, prayed with me and I left. I wouldn’t hear from him again nor did they offer my family anything. Our church completely turned their backs on us.
I then went to my Dad’s house where I lived during the 10 months. This was by far the single most worst day in my life. I literally cried for nearly two days straight. I tried so hard to be strong, but the emotions were just too overwhelming. My life and my families life were literally being torn apart and all due to the words of a 4 year old child. I couldn’t sleep and after 3 days of being an emotional wreck and not sleeping, but father finally forced me to see my doctor. He prescribed some medications to help me deal with the emotions and gave me some sleep pills so I could sleep. I had always been a very strong person emotionally.
A week later, I received the call I had dreaded for 2 weeks.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
some thing like this has happen to my nephew.what they did to him was wrong i feel for your family .my nephew was a single parent raising two children.my sister has custody .my nephew doing nine yr for attempted rape the mother that made the complaint on him.didn’t even show up for evidence hearing twice ,she said she found out saturday yet didn’t take child to doctoors till tueday every statment she said on stand proved she was lieing.and his lawyer never cross examined the only witness and was useing hearsay there was no evidence at all. the mother went to cps.made a complaint.cps got detectives pick him up they never talk to child the child was n’t even seem by doctor till after they pick him up for questioning monday my nephew is a’d'd yes they scared him told him if he would say this that the only thing they do is give him child endangering and counsoling.wrong cps and davis wouldn’t allow him to leave telling if he didn’t say this they put him in jail for 25yr.i read a statment to cps isn’t enough evidence to pick some one up that there needed to be solid proof.but when you live in a small town that have there own .law state law doesn’t count every thing ohio law said you cann’t do they did the law breaks the law and innocent.pay for the corruption.law enforcement and cps i believe that some one played a horrible joke on are children and called children protected services.with these people maybe are children would be safer if they where in madison correction with offenders then.a caseworker from cps
I was a director of a Boys & Girls Club and from that job I learned that you don’t let your self be alone with kids or have them on your lap or hug them for too long because everyone is so freaked out about this stuff that you don’t want this kind of false accusations to ever occur. This is them message that should be preached. On one hand we have to thank the police and the CPS for being so tough on you. What if you were a molester of some sort and they let you go, and later a more severe crime was committed? Then they would be the guilty party. This kind of thing happens, so they have to rake everyone over the coals so that they don’t miss this kind of thing. Since we can’t prosecute kids or possibly ever stop these kinds of things from happening we can all be aware of how to act and how to react to this situation so that it doesn’t end badly for all.
Uriah, EXCELLENT advice. The best way to prevent these kinds of things is through prevention and your advice is dead on. Had I not been so foolish, I would have never been accused. Trust me, that’s advice I follow today to the extreme.
As for CPS and the police being so tough, I agree to some level, but there has to be some level of reasonable cause. Unfortunately the pendulum has swung completely in the other direction, and now you can be accused by just the word of a child, or even an adult…or most likely in my case an adult that influenced a child to lie.
In my case, there was no evidence…none. Just the word of a child, and frankly a very unbelievable situation as well (in a room, other children and adults all around me, been around the child MANY times before with no such report, etc). There was no physical evidence, no witnesses, no past history, nothing. I agree that the police and CPS have a tough job, but there needs to be a balance. While I would certainly hate for any molester to get away, at the same time we can’t punish every suspect or accused person to the level I was either. There has to be a balance.
Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it.