One of the things I’d like to begin doing on Falsely Accused Dad is not only sharing My Story, but also sharing the stories of others and promoting news stories about those falsely accused of child sex offenses and even those with questionable cases. One of things I learned very quickly during my mandated counseling was that even though people where technically guilty, the circumstances are often shocking and prove just how broken our law system is as it relates to child sex offenses. AGAIN, don’t get me wrong…people who are guilty of harming children need to suffer the full consequences of the law, but right now there is a public and legal witch hunt going on. There has to be a better way to protect our children and at the same time deliver proper justice to those involved.
Just after publishing my latest entry here on Falsely Accused Dad, I headed over to CNN.com to check out the daily news and immediately noticed the following headline: No longer a registered sex offender, but the stigma remains. So I clicked through and read this heart wrenching article. Here’s a kid that did indeed commit a crime, but completely didn’t know it, yet look at the price he paid. Even though he is no longer an offender, his life will never be the same. Like all of us guilty or not, he will suffer scars for the rest of his life.
One particular portion of the article struck really close to home for me. It said:
Blackman tenses up when he sees children at a supermarket and avoids talking to girls his age, even if they initiate contact, his mother says.
“I got a lot more fear in me, I mean, because anything could happen,” Blackman said. “Say you’re on the registry, and you’re in the mall and a kid comes up missing. Well, guess what? You’re the first person they’re going to because you’re on the sex offender registry.”
While I am not on the registry (thank God) I can still relate. Before we moved to restart our lives, I was afraid to death to go to local stores. I knew way too many people who knew about my arrest and legal case, but didn’t know any of the facts. I knew what they thought about me. To this day I avoid children in stores like they have the plague. I won’t even go into aisles with kids by myself and if a child gets near me I move away as quickly as I can and frankly often hold my hands up. It’s not a conscious reaction, but automatic. I am just fearful of ever being in a situation where someone could accuse me.
I recall one time a few months after being arrested when I went to the grocery store and got in line to buy groceries. The man in front of me turned around and I saw that it was one of the police officers that came to my house that night. He looked at me and all of the sudden got a shocked look on his face. He just said “Oh my God, you’re kidding.” He then walked away and got into a different line.
Sure, many on the registry are guilty and deserve what they get, but many aren’t. I implore you to make sure you understand everyone’s situation before making judgments. Don’t make the same mistake the convenience store clerk in the story above made. You just never know.
What are your thoughts on the article? Did this kid get justice? Add a comment and let me know what you think.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I used to, liek most people, assume a child wouldn’t make up a story like these and that the accused was guilty. UNTIL I was put in a situation with someone who was falsely accused. I have read so much about how easily families are ripped apart and innocent people sent to prison. How do we begin to save the innocent while still protecting our kids?
Terry,
It’s really not that hard. You just have to investigate allegations with integrity and concern for the truth. Do away with the witch hunt mentality and hold police investigators, prosecutors, and social workers accountable for the damage they do when the evidence clearly points to innocence. ANY allegation that just “pops” up out of the blue during custody disputes against an otherwise normal, decent person should always be met with skepticism. You would think this would all just be common sense but you’d be surprised how quickly common sense is thrown out the window with allegations like this.
I think in order to hold the police, prosecutors, and social works accountable there needs to be be more public education about how broken the current system is People believe it works, frankly they believe it so much that when someone is arrested, they are as good as guilty. What people don’t realize is all of the corruption and politics that are way too prevalent in our legal system.
When you’re arrested, people believe the police. They believe the process. What I’m trying to do and people like myself through this site is educate people on the truth and what really happens behind the scenes. I want people to be aware of what REALLY goes on behind a police interview, an arrest, a grand jury indictment, etc. I firmly believe people will be amazed and frankly shocked. I know I was.
Prior to what occurred to me, I believed the police and trusted them. Big mistake. I think it all begins with education and awareness, then you can start to hold all of the people involved in this mess accountable and begin to see positive change.
I was REALLY glad to see this article on the frontpage of CNN. The only problem is that people think a situation like this is the exception, it’s not.
I hope this young man overcomes this injustice he was made to endure. It’s a crying shame when any woman/girl can accuse any man/boy of anything and it’s immediately believed and the accused is prosecuted and his life is ruined. You men have no rights anymore. You have to rise up together and get them back!!!
I was also one of those people who thought the police would NEVER lie. In my husband’s case, lies were put in the paper, quoted by the police. Of course if the police say it’s true then it’s true. NOT!
I will never trust law enforcement, the legal system or anyone in ‘authority’ again.
Good Luck Dad! I hope you life becomes better and more blessed every day.
To Dad,
You hit the nail on the head!!!!! The country needs to see these stories told in the media, in the news, on documentaries such as MSNBC’S Witch Hunt narrated by Sean Penn. And there needs to be a significant compensation package for prosecutor’s getting it wrong! If you hit the states pocket book I guarantee you that false allegation cases will decrease drastically. There is no accountability from the police work to the district attorney’s office to the prosecutors. They can get away with murder and suffer absolutely no consequences when they get it wrong. Our son’s case has so many injustices in it and I had absolutely no idea at all that this was what our justice system was about. I was blind. No more!!!! Someday and I pray so very soon that we too will get the national attention we are seeking so the country can be warned and know that it happens everyday in every city in every state in our country!
Wow. Unfortunately – I both can and can’t imagine. All of the false charges against me were eventually dropped, so I don’t fully know what it would be like to be on the sex offender list – but I absolutely do know what it is like to this day to make different choices about where to shop, and eat based only on what people there may think of you. All it takes is an accusation to change your life forever. Even in cases where the accuser outright admits that they made up the accusation – and that the accused in innocent – you NEVER get your life back the way it was before.
I am so glad to see this story made the news. I know that when I was accused it was in the newspaper – it was on TV… BUT – when I was cleared…do you think a single word of that made it into the media? NO WAY…not a word about the baseless allegations. Not a word about how I was the REAL victim…and how MY life was turned up-side down. They thought nothing of ruining my name for ratings based on the words of only one person – but wouldn’t even consider helping to clear it when the REAL truth was revealed!
Dad…keep on sharing! One by one…I hope that we can get the word out there about what happens in our very broken legal system. It’s sad to say that you really have no idea until it happens to you!
I was falsely accused by my ex during a time when I was fighting for my rights as a father. The magnifying glass should have been on her for what she was programming my son to believe about me. She, along with all sociopath and narcissistic immature women are the abusers in these cases, and men pay the consequences. Damaged women run CPS and Social Services, and are totally corrupted with power, most with no real concern for truth but rather a higher paycheck and job security by not allowing capable families to work out their own problems.
Her case against me was so ridiculous it was dropped quickly, thank god. But I went through hell and it created a stigma against me among family and others. I’ve been under the microscope since and recently was the center focus of allegations of sexual abuse of my little sister, spawn from a woman doctor who probed her after she said she didn’t like when I tickled her, but liked when her dad did – who was tickling her in the office. Nothing sexual was hinted, but the past accusation against me was, thus miss bitch Dr called social services to “just make sure nothing’s going on”, having no concern for people’s lives and reputation.
The ripple affect from a false, benevolent accusation is something I realize all innocent men like myself must have to deal with as well. I’m only 24 years old so have a long row to hoe, my mind is already keyed toward paranoia of others and a hatred for the legal system, “modern” women, and the social order. I have a wonderful girlfriend, who – although we’d only known each other for a short while – provided such godsend support through the latter mentioned process, I feel blessed and am grateful. My plan is to keep her (she’s ‘a keeper’!) and start a life as far from the proximity of the madness as we can afford.
Never the less, the damage one selfish woman has created, enabled by the anti-male media induced societal atmosphere, can never be fully repaired. My 4 year old sister just lost the older brother she knew and loved, I won’t be around much anymore. If her dad, who my mom and older sister thinks may be molesting her, is, than my presence alone puts me at risk of being set-up. The West is in a regressive, sheepish and pathetic social state.
Tom you are absolutely “dead on” with your assessment of CPS. They are damaged women with an “axe to grind”. They believe all men are child molesters and it’s their job to put them all away. The initial “emergency” case worker on duty that first showed up to do the initial “assesment” was incredulous. She came to my home and TOLD my wife I was abusing my children. Told her never mind the details we just “know it” and you need to believe it.
She asked my wife if the children seemed to fear me. She said “no, they actually adore my husband and even vie for his attention.” She said “yeah, that’s a sign of abuse because they have been programmed to not make him mad or he abuses them more.”
Our youngest daughter was born a week before the allegations were made. This lady asked my wife if I change the baby’s diaper. Apparently, to do so means I enjoy “touching” my 1 week old daughter. Does he “hug” his kids? Sign of abuse. Does he help with bathing or dressing them? Sign of abuse. She remarked that my stepdaughter (the one I have raised half her life not the estranged child that made the allegation) seemed to be very close to me and vigorously defended me. She found this very odd considering after all, I was ONLY the stepfather. And yep, you guessed it, this behavior was a sure sign of abuse!!! They were VERY upset with her when she refused to lie and claim abuse. They interrogated her three times at school before they finally relented and focused their attention on the liar.
Another thing to consider looking back at my ordeal. The initial charge was an “attempted aggravated sexual battery.” I was offered a plea bargain. The plea? “Simple assualt and battery”. What does this mean when you put it into perspective? My attorney exlpained that to be guilty of simple assult in the state of Virginia, they only have to proof you “touched” the child. Could have been a tap on the arm, run your fingers through her hair while brushing it, a kiss on the cheek when you put her to bed, picked her up and put her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch, ANY contact whatsoever. Am I guilty of that? Absolutely!!! If you are a parent, according to the state of Virginia, you are guilty of assaulting your children. If you are a loving caring parent you are guilty of assault EVERYDAY!!!!!
Now I’m not saying that anytime you touch your children they will come arrest you. But it does go to show where the motivation lies. It has NOTHING to do with protecting children. But everything to do with securing convictions at all cost. Think about it. If this prosecutor thought for one minute that that child or any of my children were being sexually abused doesn’t she have an obligation to do everything in her power take me off the streets? Truth be told, she knew I was innocent. It then begs the question, doesn’t she have the same obligation to drop the charges entirely?
One more thing to consider. When the initial accusation was made, CPS sent a letter to my daughter’s biological father stating that I was under investigation for molesting his daughter. They have 45 days to complete this investigation. It was completed in 2 weeks with an “unfounded” for abuse. The letter sent to him was “the investigation into the alleged accusation is complete.” Not a single word as to the unfounded results!!!! Why not?