Three more counseling members

When I last left my story, I talked about how I was continuing my required anger management counseling. That article highlighted three sex offenders whose crimes really fell into the gray area.  I mentioned that the others however weren’t so gray.  I’d like you to meet Grandpa, Raymond, and Felix.

Grandpa – A grandfather who molested his Grand daughter

Grandpa was one of the most friendly of the bunch and the most emotional as well.  He oozed remorse.  If you’ll recall, Grandpa was accused of multiple counts of indecent liberties and attempted rape on his grand daughter.  He was also the only man in the group that carried an electronic tracking device making him a serious risk in the eyes of the state.

Grandpa worked construction during the week and owned his own contracting business.  On the weekends, his granddaughter would spend the weekends at his house.  Often, his wife would have to work weekends and he would be left alone with his granddaughter, who was 5 at the time the abuse started.  I won’t go into the gory details, as frankly it’s a little too difficult to type/read, but suffice it to say it went from touching to rape over the course of 2 years.

One Sunday evening after returning home, the granddaughter complained to her mother of burning in her groin area.  The next day her mother took her to the doctor’s where a medical examination concluded she was being abused pretty severely.  When Grandpa was approached by his daughter about it, he confessed.  She called the police and pressed charges and he confused to everything to them and pleaded guilty on all accounts in exchange for reduced jail time.  He received a multi-year sentence and was required to register as a sex offender.

Had I not met this man and spent time with him, I would have frankly thought something horrible should be done to him.  What I learned though is that the emotional turmoil and agony this man has to live through on a daily basis is more than enough punishment.  He lost his wife, his daughter, and his granddaughter.  He weeps every time he talks about it.  He says he will never forgive himself and one night he even said that he would kill himself to end the pain, but doesn’t as he feels he needs to be punished.

As part of his sentence, he received significant counseling, where it was brought out that he was abused as a child.  This is a common trend with sex offenders.

Raymond  – The CEO and next door neighbor

Raymond was the CEO for a successful local company. He was well educated, made good money and lived a comfortable life.  He had two grown children and a wife of more than 25 years.  Next door lived a 7 year old girl that would often visit Raymond and his wife on the weekends.  One day Raymond’s wife was out when the 7 year old came over to visit.  Raymond had been drinking a few beers, one thing led to another, and he molested her.  That evening she told her mother who called the police.

Raymond plead guilty to the charge and was sentenced to jail time, registration as a sex offender, and counseling.  To this day he cannot explain why he did it, and swears he had never had the “urge” prior in his life.  It was a mistake he’ll never forgot.  His wife left him shortly after and his kids won’t speak to him.

While I attended the anger management portion of their counseling, Raymond told us that a little girl went missing in his neighborhood.  Within minutes, the local Sheriff’s department knocked on his door and arrested him.   Turns out the little girl had snuck to a friends house.  He also shared another story where he had been working on his car and was driving it around the neighborhood off and on to test the repairs he was doing.  A neighbor called the police and reported he was “trolling the neighborhood”.  Again, he was visited by the Sheriff who again almost arrested him.

Felix – The rapist

Felix was interesting.  On the surface he was quiet and very friendly, but there was something about him.  Something that scared me a bit.  Our counselor was very hesitant of him as well.  Felix rapped his wife.  They had been fighting.  He went out to bar, got drunk, came home and raped her multiple times.  He went to trial, pleading innocent and was found guilty on multiple charges of rape.  I can’t recall the amount of time he did, but it was close to 15 or 20 years.  He now admits he did it and that he tried to just get off my pleading not-guilty.

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These three were in sharp contrast to the previous three.  All guilty by admission of hard core sex offense crimes.  It was awkward being around these guys at first, but over time as I came to know them, especially Grandpa and Raymond I began to wonder how long these guys should be punished for their crimes.   Grandpa and Raymond were both sincerely remorseful for what they had done.  You could hear it in the their voices and see it in their eyes.  Because of their crimes though, these guys will be punished for the rest of their lives.

My sessions ended the week or Christmas.  That evening our counselor brought some food and soft drinks for a mini Christmas party.  It was bitter sweet.  I was so glad to be done, but at the same time would miss attending.  Ironically enough, these guys were the only people outside of family and very close friends that didn’t judge me.  They didn’t look at me the same way the rest of my neighbors did and I honestly felt like they believed I was innocent.  I shook their hands, wished them the best and walked out the door.  I never looked back and swore I would never drive by that place again.

Now, almost 2 years later, I haven’t yet.  I do wonder how those guys are doing at times though.